will you allow me to share some knowledge with you all even if it makes me sound like a dumb ass stoner

smoking weed out of bong requires all 4 of the elements

the most telling thing about the political climate this year is that usually my dash is filled with 4th of July posts by now but there’s been absolutely nothing… like nobody can even find the strength to post ironic eagle memes are you guys alright over there

this test apparently tells you how narcissistic you are on a scale of 0 - 40. most people are under 20…i got a 35 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Straight people: I hate my spouse lol!! What a nag right? Let’s cheat!!

Gay people: I love my spouse so much that I bought the entire country of France for them because they like cheese. I would go to the ends of the earth for them and I love them with my entire heart

The Media: one of these is a bad example for children and it’s not the people who hate each other

do any millionaires follow me that are bored

Idk where straights get the idea that marriage is a trap from. Like hanging out with the girl I love whenever we want and like cooking dinner together and sharing a space sounds lit as hell

Shout out to strawberries, keep up the good work little red dudes.

I am such a “huh” ass bitch. Lmao i got bad hearing sorry

If you were in a fanfic, would you be the pining idiot or the oblivious dumbass?

post it in the tags!!

rb if you’re a bi bitch who loves carbs